I am almost 4 months into leaving my marriage of 12 years and relationship of over 18 years. I have learnt alot about myself in this very short time mostly that when something breaks down or leaves we tend to forget all of the amazing tools we have with in our reach to support us. Or at least I did. I am fairly confident most other people are the same.
I have been moving through various stages of grief as I let a part of my life die with no real clue what will be reborn. I won’t lie it is scary and the foundations upon which my life were built are now having to be rebuilt!
I have done the usual human things we do when we are hurting or not really wanting to meet the parts of us that are dying to be reborn. I have ate too much, drank too much, got lost in netflix, not slept very well, threw myself into work way too much, found various ways to distract and procastinate on things that are important to look at and I have gained more weight than I have ever carried on my body.
I refuse to be hard on myself over any of this and aknoweldge that it is OK to lose our way admist some heavy lifting in our lives. It is not every day we walk away from half of our lives and you would need to be a non feeling robot of sorts not to feel its impact. Which I feel fair to say I am not.
I am the Queen of compassion after all so what would this mean for me if I could not even bring that level of compassion back full circle towards myself? Especailly now!
So I am grateful at least I have that. Compassion… which led me to deepen into reflection around how can I best support myself right now. Truly show up for myself. Truly meet the hard stuff on the inside.
This led to me asking inwardly
How would I show up for a woman who came to me moving through what I am right now?
What would I create for her to support her and love her through this until she was able to hold and love herself again?
With that thought resting in my heart for quite a few days and nights as I sat reading books on counscious uncoupling, journalling and really deepening into the many heart and soul reflections that are naturally arising for me right now. The whys and how did I / we end up here? Then one night I woke up out of my sleep found myself with paper and pen writing down a journey for a woman like me. This journey is a softening and invitation to really heal and move into the hurt, grief, confusion and all that comes when our lives radically shift into something else entirely. Which can happen at any stage and age in our lives.
Only I knew I will not be offering this out to any woman, I felt instinively this was for me personally from those in the unseen that hold my hand and heart in ways no human ever has. This was a soul whsipering experience for a very important queen, that queen being me. I shared a post about this on my facebook profile.
In this post I promised to share my journey with you.
So what do I mean by share my journey with you?
I felt I would blog this experience with you all weekly.
Invite you along to my journey, the ahas, the highs, the lows, the resistance to devoting this level love for myself only, the moments of clairty and transformation, the joy, the pleausre, the activations, the tears and whatever happens to arise along the way. I will write and take selfies of my weekly transformation I do believe and know our whole face and appearance changes when we move through deep soul iniations!
I have created over the years so many journeys for women that have shifted them from the inside out. Watched the most gorgeous transformations and honestly its opened my heart time and time again to what we are capable of as humans when loved and supported to do so.
This Journey I have created for myself. It is a mix of the many tools I have collated over the years with a primary focus on pleasure and energetic body work.
Who knows it may become something of an offering for those who walk similar after me.
For now that is not my intention.
For now it is about offering women a life line in real time through my devotional self love journey and my writing, one of my first loves.
So who is with me?
Maybe my shares will invite you to create some daily devotional practices in your life and by the end of this 12 weeks we will all be feeling that inner and outer transformation together. Now that would be wonderous and fill my heart with so much joy.
In Love & Devotion Always
Your Soul Whisperer
Connector of Wombyn